iamlawless - random blogging

Dear Sophia Grace, 

You will be five tomorrow and I am filled with both sheer joy for you and typical, miserable longing for you to stay ‘my baby girl’ just a little longer. During year one, I wrote silly songs for you and we later sang them around the house and in the car. One in particular, ‘the baby dance’ has always been my go-to outpour of love that has healed even the toughest parent-child moments..it will always be our song. 

As you grow each day, month, and year, I am increasingly awestruck by your capacity to love, forgive, empathize, mend, share, articulate, and weave life into art.  Your daily drawings and cards for me give me joy and simply steer me into a better person.  I don’t know what I did without you before you - you inspire me to be everything you need me to be.  When you were 19 months old, you used to spell out brands and small words - now you read three years beyond your age without prompting.  Your joyful attitude about learning will take you very far baby girl.  

The other day I was trying to clean up a mess. You re-phrased an entire commercial about a cleaning product that would help me ‘get tough jobs done.’ You went on to state the benefits as I was laughing and wondering where you heard that.  That’s just one out of a hundred instances I can think of in a week that has made me laugh.  Sometimes we have rolled on the floor laughing about our mishaps, Cebu, silly songs, pilates ball rolling, or wind-up toy races. You are the brightest, funniest, bravest, most angelic, super cute, lovable little person I know.  You wear your heart on your sleeve and you ask the same of me and from your family and friends. You openly love each member of your family. In fact, you are one of the best people I know - and I wish there were more people in the world like you.  I love you Sophia - and you are the greatest gift in my life.  Happy Birthday baby girl. 

I tried to start a blog, start a business, get my own website that corresponded with my Twitter ID..but Someone is HIJACKING the URL(s).  When is this going to stop? Shouldn’t you have to prove your business/brand/ID to get a URL? Or shouldn’t it be easy to displace a URL squatter? Where’s the URL police? That’s why sites have weird names - people have to get creative to get around the squatters. I say once and for all, let’s FIX THIS. —photo by Gary Lu :)

While traveling to North Carolina, I visited Yelp mobile and their online site to quickly figure out where I wanted to go for dinner in Chapel Hill.  Yes, this is a local+social+mobile experience and if you’re not in that game, it’s just ‘a fantastic roaming concierge.’ There is only one thing missing - the ability to make a portable list (HINT: Yelp, make a to-go list on your mobile app). 

It doesn’t have to be Yelp but it doesn’t hurt that it was Yelp because they have the database full of strangers, friends, and stuff to do. And it certainly helps that they have a mobile app.   If I can’t quickly find it on my iPhone I’m not interested. A few competitive sites offered choices online (a bit limited) and no choices via mobile. 

By searching for Restaurants in Chapel Hill, I found a reviewer who was also from San Francisco who is now living here - aha, the relevancy kicks in.  So do I trust reviews from strangers? Maybe. But I do like reviews from strangers who are similar to me.  People who like what I like probably have a better idea of where to go than Aunt Milly (not that there’s anything wrong with Aunt Milly). 

The best part after finding a good place to go is that I could get directions to it via Google maps.  From start to finish within minutes it looked like this: Where? Check. Surf reviews, check. Select, check. Map - I’m there. Another HINT for Yelp is that the ‘find similar reviewers to me process ought to be very simple.  Bizzy.com is looking to solve this problem with a fantastic user experience. I’ve also just downloaded Urban Spoon. And since I’m throwing a few names around, I’m happy to do a competitive chart if anyone would find that valuable. It may cut down on the noise and shorten your decision time. 

Ah, the dangers of “us” and “them.” We know better, the bible tells us so, yet often our communication filters are removed and the temptation just seems to be too great when it comes to Politics. It’s instinctive to place your long gumby arms around your group of like-minded thinkers and blame ‘them.’ Sometimes ‘them’ is replaced with explicit, passionate adjectives. And while it may be fun for a debate team, at the end of the day we all need to get something really important done and this division becomes the focus while the issues grow. I see grown men and women act like spoiled, mean, snarling coyotes in order to defend their ‘us’ position.  Passive aggressive types often try to educate others by putting ‘them’ in the ignorant category first (not a great way to sell).  

We are aware as a society that politics doesn’t fare well with dinner among friends or co-workers.  But what about social media? On Facebook, the majority of users have mixed company (family, co-workers, previous or prospective employers, friends, children of friends, and your hobby group people).  Using Facebook as a sound board to pepper and ventilate your ideas might inspire a few to take action, but what a fine way to shake out new enemies, frienemies, and closed doors. 

IMO, It’s best to avoid politics on Facebook at all costs. It reminds me of Horror films. The ones where your best buddy ends up being the slimy monster you have to run from - picture this when you debate political issues on Facebook. I’m either a magic mirror or a slimy monster depending on the position I’ve taken on an issue, no matter how sensitive it’s approached. I’m sure to garner a few Likes from like-minded people but it also guarantees that somewhere my mask has been removed and I’m shocking someone who cannot believe I’m “one of them!”

Yet there is another way and it doesn’t have to be this way. If you rise above it, you can discuss both sides calmly without name calling and even listen to the other persons’ viewpoint from their perspective. But that’s a lot of work for some people.  If you don’t agree with ‘some of them,’ you might get beat down with ridicule, name calling, judgement, sarcasm, or private notes that say, ‘do you seriously believe that?”

In sports, people that are friends can often like competing teams.  Right? You don’t often see a post like this..”What a dumbass-you like the 49ers? That piece of sh*t quarterback got a D in Literature, no wonder he can’t carry a conversation or a ball..” No, you don’t hear that. But in Politics, you read comments like that every day. But if sports were like politics, you’d hear this follow up rant post after the 49ers win: “Filthy liar quarterback took money from special interest to trip the other team’s player! It’s not the other team’s fault they lost, they were set up to lose!”

And then comes the danger of picking one party or the other: Drawing lines that you can’t cross over - even when it’s meaningful to do so. So if you don’t agree with decisions being made, you’re stuck with the party line and the candidate or you’re quietly taking a risk for the greater good and never admitting defeat.  Either way stand in your convictions (hopefully as fact-based as possible), be empathetic, and be prepared to listen because - you’re somebody’s “one of them!” 

tumblrbot asked: WHERE WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO VISIT ON YOUR PLANET?

Southern Italy and surrounding area, Jerusalem, Argentina, New Zealand, Quebec City, more of Switzerland and France..perhaps the Eastern block countries and Denmark too.  How about you Mr. Bot?